TL;DR: Nathan Singer shares three key tips for managers on handling tough conversations and employee relations: 1) avoid difficult talks when emotional, wait for a neutral mindset; 2) termination is about fit, not about labeling someone bad; 3) be clear and direct when managing poor performance. Deb Muller emphasizes the importance of these tips and encourages more ER pros to share their wisdom in short formats like Two Minute Matters.
Three Key Takeaways from the Video: Advice for Managers
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Manage Your Emotions First: Don’t have difficult conversations when upset or angry. Wait until you’re calm and neutral to ensure the conversation goes better.
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Termination is About Fit, Not Fault: When letting someone go, frame it as a misfit for the role or company rather than a judgment on their character or overall abilities.
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Be Clear with Performance Feedback: Clearly communicate when expectations are not being met — ambiguity often leads poor performers to believe they are doing fine.
Video Transcript: Advice for Managers
00:00:13.280
Deb Muller:
Hey everyone, we are here for Two Minute Matters and if you’re looking at my co-host here, Rebecca looks a little bit different today because it’s not Rebecca. I am so excited that we have our first special guest star. I was just telling Nathan it’s kind of like a Love Boat — everybody came for the guest stars, not for the regular.
00:00:30.679
Deb Muller:
But I’m so excited to be joined today by Nathan Singer. He’s the head of global employee relations at Confluent, so thanks for joining us.
00:00:37.879
Nathan Singer:
I appreciate the opportunity. I’ve watched the other Two Minute Matters and it’s been awesome, so I’m happy to be a part of it.
00:00:44.239
Deb Muller:
Awesome. So I told Nathan how this works. I’m going to start the timer in a little bit, but just a little preamble. Nathan’s going to share some tips for managers and sort of how we need to get our managers to help in the employee relations aspect of their job better. How can we coach them to be really the front line to employee issues as they come up?
00:01:07.200
Deb Muller:
So Nathan’s got a few pointers. He’s got two minutes to share them all with us, so I’m sure we could probably have many chapters of this, so maybe he’ll come back.
00:01:16.960
Deb Muller:
I told him how it goes, I’m starting the timer, and we’re going to have a great conversation. So thanks for joining us Nathan, and all right, let’s start the timer. Go!
00:01:26.520
Nathan Singer:
Thanks, Deb. So Deb, one of the things that I say to managers a lot is when you’re ready to have a tough conversation with an employee, whether it’s about disciplinary or performance or whatever it is, don’t do it if you’re feeling any kind of strong emotion.
00:01:40.880
So whether that’s now, for most managers that’s if you’re irritated, if you’re upset, if you’re angry — don’t do it. Wait until you’re in a place of very neutral disposition, right? Neutral emotions.
00:01:52.479
That’s when you’re ready to do it. If you try to do it when you’re upset or you’re irritated, your employee will definitely pick up on that and it will cause the conversation to not go well.
00:02:02.960
Deb Muller:
That’s such great advice. I think of that as a parent, sort of the same — like breathe, write it down, sleep on it, and then go in really neutral. Love that. That’s great.
00:02:13.400
Nathan Singer:
Absolutely. All right, here’s another one. Terminating people always stinks, and what I tell managers is if a day comes where you’re excited about doing so, you should get out of management because it’s never supposed to be fun.
00:02:27.360
I’ve been doing it for a really long time, as Deb I’m sure you have as well. And so what I tell people is termination — one way to view it is you are not saying that the person is a bad person or even a bad employee. What you are saying is it’s not a fit here, but we know that that person will be successful. It’s just not going to be here.
00:02:44.040
Deb Muller:
I echo that all the time. I think I’ve said those words. You know, you are impacting someone’s life. This isn’t the message they want to see, but it is not about them, it’s about the fit.
00:02:59.640
And traditionally we do see people doing much better and much happier in another role somewhere else.
00:03:03.360
100%.
00:03:06.720
Nathan Singer:
Last thing I will say is when you are performance managing, right — so when a manager is telling their employee that they’re not meeting expectations — it’s better to be clearer, like awkwardly clear, than to not be clear at all.
00:03:22.519
As an example, what I tell managers is if your employee’s not meeting expectations, you should say, “You are not meeting expectations.”
00:03:30.080
It’s important to be that clear because poor performers tend to assume that everything’s okay until you tell them otherwise. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be poorly performing.
00:03:39.720
That’s great.
00:03:41.879
Deb Muller:
I don’t know if you heard but the bell went off, so you did great — a little bit but three excellent tips for managers. Employee relations folks, share this with your managers. They’re even good reminders for ourselves because we manage people as well.
00:03:56.560
That was great. So that was easy, right? More people should join Two Minute Matters and share their wisdom.
00:04:00.239
Nathan Singer:
I mean, two minutes goes by real fast. You don’t have to have all the expert insight. You just got to have two minutes of it.
00:04:08.920
That’s right.
00:04:11.120
Deb Muller:
Thank you so much, and I know you have more. You’ll come back and share. If you are listening to this and you’re an ER pro and you have something you want to share, let us know. We’d love to have you on.
00:04:19.798
Thanks again, Nathan, and look forward to seeing everyone soon.
00:04:21.199
Nathan Singer:
Thanks.
